How to Detect and CATCH a Cheating Spouse

Perhaps its in men's nature to sow their oats far and wide.

Men normally get the brunt of the blame for "cheating" and this is not to say that women do not get involved in cheating too. To be fair, for every one cheating man there obviously has to be a woman (knowingly or unknowingly) who has actively participated. This article is not a debate on why men or women cheat but simply identify the signs that a spouse is cheating and how to deal with it.

Although men and women have all strayed, for the sake of this article we will be using men as the "bad guy".

Common behavior of Cheating Spouses
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1. Secretive in their computer and mobile usage

One of the first and most obvious tell tale signs that something is wrong is when a spouse gets really secretive and highly protective about his interactions on mobile and on computers. A simple test by 'accidentally' picking the wrong phone up and looking through it will reveal wonders. A cheating man will guard their mobiles like their lives depend on it. If your partner had never before had a habit of using a password on his mobile device and suddenly does, that would be the first sign that something may be wrong. Some cheating men even bring their phones to the shower to avoid any possibility that it may incriminate him. What could possibly be so secretive in a husband's phone other than his occasional chatter with his buddies and colleagues.

However DO NOT presume that all men who guard their phone like it was their first born is cheating. There have been many instances that men who wanted to surprise the women they loved wanted to keep the surprise....well....a surprise!
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2. Significantly Less SEX in the relationship
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Everyone in a relationship is well familiar with their spouses sex drive. A sudden decrease in sexual interest by your spouse may well point to the fact that he is getting his pudding elsewhere. This is not to say that this applies to all men. A sudden drop in sexual interest may also be due to an underlying medical issue.

Sometimes when a partner begins using new 'tricks' in their sex life, it could also be due to the fact that he is learning these stunts from another 'teacher'. Again this could be as simply explained due to his buddies sending him some 'adventurous' video clips.
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3. Uses Aggression and hostility to avoid being questioned
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A cheating man almost always behaves in a hostile manner if a woman raises her suspicions about his unexplained 'activities'.

"YOU DON'T TRUST ME!", seems to be a common phrase that many of the men confronted have used to prevent further questioning.

A man who loves his woman will always patiently explain himself and ease her worries. This goes the same for women who love their men. Going the aggressive path is a common reaction thanks to the 'fight or flight' instinct that is inherent in all of us.
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4. Blames YOU for everything
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For many cheating men, somewhere in their twisted minds in order to rationalize their behaviors and maintain a semblance of self respect will begin forming ideas that it was YOU, the woman who caused him to stray.

Not all cheats will use this approach but many women have shared that they felt a sense of worthlessness after being blamed by their cheating husbands.

No man should ever make a woman feel its her fault for something he did that was wrong.
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5. Suspicious Credit card expenses
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Now this is one of the most common signs that a man is having an affair. Suddenly seeing a bill that dates back to key dates like 'February 14th' and not recognizing the restaurant nor ever being there is highly suspicious. 

Man who have previously been confronted by their women over such unexplained 'bills' have used excuses like they were having dinner with their male buddies. Well this could be so....but on a Valentines? 

​Other suspicious transactions include bills tracing back to jewelry stores or female clothing stores that you have absolutely no clue about. Of cause this can also point to the simple explanation that he has bought you a gift and was planning to surprise you with it. Ultimately, a woman has to use her own discretion as only she knows best his habits and try to ponder if he has a tendency to 'surprise' you during the relationship. Also try to recall how he behaved when he first met you as the behavioral patterns that men use to 'pursue' a new love interest is often repetitive. 
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Please NOTE....
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A partner may be displaying all the above signs and still not be cheating however its almost certain there are underlying issues that you and your spouse need to have find time to sit and discuss these concerns. Sometimes finding out that infidelity exist may not necessarily be a bad thing. There have been many instances where couples have sat down eventually when things came to head and really have a heart to heart discussion. Eventually if you both still love one another and want to aim for a win win situation where things eventually works out, it can be done.

Prevention is always better than a cure. Both the man and woman from the very beginning of the relationship must communicate. Both must play a role right from the start to be considerate and do whatever they can to preserve the precious love that has blossomed between them. The world can be a cold and lonely place and true love is indeed hard to find. Treasure each other when both of you can because no one knows what tomorrow brings.

Written by Baron Chia. The writer is the winner of the successful entrepreneur award and have also written articles involving self help that have been published in various magazines.For further related esquires in regards this topic He can be contacted via email at whiteknightcaesar@gmail.com

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